Foxy Roxy

Surgeon Megan's Warning:

Let it be known that no one should drink wine on an empty stomache even if it doesn't cause intoxication or upset stomache. There are other "members" furthur on down the line who aren't appreciative of alcohol w/o a meal. And I also have a strange pain in my ear that goes into my jaw. But my admonishment about the wine is more important at this point.

More interesting matters:

I went to a gala last night! It was the end of the season party for Asheville Lyric Opera, and Laurel invited me, Brian, Erica, Shelly and Phil to help out. For helping out, a lady in charge invited us young people to join the Young Adult Opera Guild of Asheville. We all joined so now, (as far as I know) the Young Adult Opera Guild is now composed of Brian, Erica, Phil, Shelly, Laurel (the founder of course) and me. I'm not joking! It's a real deal. There just aren't that many of us yet, but it does mean that if we work as ushers and/or help clean up after galas we get to attend operas and galas for free. Sounds like a sweet enough deal to me. Free opera, finger food, live music (at galas), and wine tasting. One should just eat plenty before tasting wine.

In the other news, our new peer tutor at work (John) has decided to name me "sunshine" and "Foxy Roxy". And he brought me coffee from Starbucks this moring. That's kinda weird but I guess he's just that sweet. He's such a libral though. It's rather sad; he truely is quite intelligent and well read/watched, but he's still politically misguided and delusional. I guess no one can be perfect, eh? Oh, and since he knows how much I dislike Josh, he's begun to tease me about "has your boyfriend been by yet?". But it's not entirely unpleasant. He knows I don't like Josh so since he's just trying to annoy me... I dunno. For whatever reason it doesn't get on my nerves. Rather than irritating me it feels more like a joke on Josh. *shrug*

It's rained three days in a row (of course if you live in Asheville this is no surprise to you). That hasn't been helpful for the "get back into horses" campaign. I worked Nick 4 days prior to the rain and though working a horse does "cramp" my social life I have dearly missed it. I feel so torn about quitting working and not taking classes. I'm sick of school/tutoring/the like to be sure, but when I mentioned my inclinations to mom she pretty much let me know she thinks I'm nuts for letting go of a good paying job at this point. She doesn't know what it's like to do math all day... no matter how easy. I enjoy teaching quick learners, but slow learners are getting on my nerves. And they shouldn't. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking more time to learn something than most people. But I just want to take a torch to the fog in their minds and it's getting harder to find a constructive way to do that. God give me patience and teach me to love them like You love them - but hurry. :S :)

Dominique's dad is in the hospital in ICU last I heard. He's prolly out of ICU at this point but he's still in critical condition I think. He's had fainting spells and he recently had one in which he fell and hit his head very hard. Apparently there's still some brain swelling, but the good part is he recognizes everyone. I think everyone's fairly shaken up over that one, so if you think to... please keep Mr. Marin in your prayers.

I could whip Brian. He's being girl crazy and if you want my opinion (which you better ;) you are reading my blog), it's just because Travis is married and his sister got married at 18 and he wants somebody. Don't we all want somebody!? But that's not criteria to date! For heaven's sake, if I dated all the boys I thought I wanted when I wanted them I'd be in pretty sorry shape right now - either heartbreak hotel or hook-him city. It's a struggle (don't I know) but I want something that's gonna last. I want to be hugged and cuddled more than anything right NOW in this very moment, but that doesn't mean I should cuddle up with the first Christian guy within 2 years of me I can find. It means I focus on God and remind Him that He is my Rescuer and my Redeemer. And remind Him that in Psalms He promises to satisfy me in the morning. And God doesn't know how to lie. He always comes through for us. I have to believe that inspite of the moments like now when I wonder when my heart will be satisfied. But it will.

I very much want to put my opinion of Arthur up here right now. Heck I've said everything else about him haven't I? He's being a shallow little dork. He looks like a dork in his Thailand pictures. And his blog, while factually interesting, is shallow. How so? In compairison to Nathan's trail blog, he's all superfical and there's no soul left to him. I believe God will change him back to the man he use to be instead of this shallow silly boy he has become. I look very much foward to it. Yeah so Art and Nathan aren't the same guy. I know that and I'm glad of that but that doesn't give Arthur permission to be shallow. There was soo much depth to him before he went to college. I'll be glad when it comes back. I thank You that You are faithful and that You'll bring him back. Thank You for showing him who his true friends are (you should read the posts his "friends" school have left. They're a bunch of idiots. I know I'm not being gracious but... it jus makes me so mad that he puts so much importance on these people who aren't worth the time investment he makes in them. He gave up Living Waters... Living Waters... to go on a retreat with these people. Yes we should be a light but we certainly shouldn't give up our dearest source of spiritual encouragement for those seem to only profess superfical Christianity of any form. I mean, right now, I have a lot more respect for the Vishes than Arthur. They encourage me more in my faith than he who I've grown up with and grown in the faith with. That's just sad. And it breaks my heart... and it makes me angry that I still allow him to break my heart. But then I remember 1 Cor. 13 and loving like God loves opens our hearts to be hurt. But we must continue to love until love itself heals the pain of loving. Oh to walk in love like God does!!

Mom has become NBA draft possessed. She's livid that Chris Paul has gotten so much attention, and they didn't even bother to interview Jarret Jack. It's all political and rigged and just a big, painful, stupid joke. Good players gettin' second round to stupid idiots who play dirty, and highschoolers. That's just wrong. They discourage good sportsmanship and the experience of playing on a college team. It's corrupt and I'd rather not watch it. %)

Dang... I guess I sound like I'm complaining alot. :( On the whole I'm well off, I'm so glad my Hannah came and ate lunch with me on Monday. That made a really crappy day so much better. *soft musing smile* For all that Hannah has begged we don't forget her when she goes; I do pray she doesn't forget us when she has a new gang she hangs with. I hope she doesn't catch up on the apathy that's so rampant. And I pray somehow she slips under the radar of peer pressure to have a boyfriend. I want her to be happy. And in God's time that will be a boyfriend, but I feel rather certain for now that boyfriends aren't in the picture for any of us. God give us strength eh?

"O her eyes are amber-fine/Deep and dark as wells of wine." ~ James Whitcombe Riley

To close my eyes and have someone sweep me off into a beautiful waltz... and just get lost in the beauty and the music.... *sigh* I sound like an oxymoron don't I? "Don't let us be caught dating!" one minute and seeming male obessed the next. %) To be free from these chains of desire that enslave us!... to be free from our very selves? to not desire anything may not be good at all....

%)%)%)%)%)...think I better quit tonight. I'm musing/talking way too much. I love you all so much, and I love You, my Lord and my Rescuer.

Morning Rays - Waking Gold

Mornings rays on a waking world
Glorious, bright days no longer of old
Slowly one foot before the other - manifold
Thousands of souls lost
Lost in untamed laughter of foot
Lost in untamed mastery of soul
The music - life's music - taking ahold
Music claiming the feet
Joy possessing the soul.


~by Megan Redding

Arthur's take off 

Arthur in his plane 

"These people you gave me, Lord. They're so exhausting." 

sandpipers and surf 

My desktop background as of right now 

Sandy's personal opinion of sand and sunbathing 

sky and dunes 

I have no idea what kind of flower except it's a member of the deadly nightshade family and it's quite beautiful :) 

Sunset on Silver Lake with a ferry (background) and sail boat (forground) 

Sweet Pea growning in a pot on the porch of Ocracoke Restoration Co. 

THE BEGINNING OF VACATION :D
The kitty belonging to the owner of the house we stayed in (foreground) and her friend we lovingly named Miss Darthy (background)

Hail the Conquering Graduates! 

after we stopped laughing ;) 

Nathan and me at the reception 

me before I left for the Civic Center 

Gully Washers

Wow... so much the past few weeks and so much coming. What's been on my heart the most lately is that I let Arthur "have it" in an email. He flew in and visited almost 24hrs. one weekend on vacation. It was good to see him. But I emailed him after I got home and let him know how upset I've been with him and his apparent lack of friendship or even caring to sustain one. His only encouragement to me was him showing up on Ocracoke. And he's just emailed me that he arrived safe in Thailand. Yep, Thailand. He's going there for school for 6 months... the particulars I'm not sure of. I just know he emailed me to say, "I just wanted to let you know I was alive." and that once he got set up in an apartment he'd email me again. I assume in response to my long email. Gosh. I was so ready to let him go and drift away... but God hasn't let me. I fought Him so much on the feelings that were rekindled in my heart. But you know... the crazy thing is this is the first time he's left me that I haven't cried. My tears have been uncontrollable before but this time, though I was saddened, I did not need to cry. I feel like I had finally totally and completely let him go. And after he physically left, God gave him back to me. And I don't know what to think. I have to believe that God in His love is working on Arthur's heart too. That's why I was compelled to email him instead of let him drift away again. God won't let me give up on him. This love in my heart is strange for me, but I shall walk through it. That is something else God is teaching me. If I don't sow love, I'll never reap love. And something Mother Theresa said... Love until it hurts, and keep loving until love is all that is left. That's God's kind of love. And that's the love I'm going to have to determine to love him with. My love isn't sufficent to love anyone or anything with. :) (Becca, my dear, don't question me too much on this.. I know it seems strange but I know in my heart that it's true. And after talking to my mum, we found the same thing has happened in both our hearts and all we know is that it's God because we weren't capable of this determined-ness.)

Graduation and vacation went well btw. I'll post some pictures of both here in a bit. Vacation was entirely God ordained. We stayed at a house named "Recovery Room" and was my heart ever recovered there. God blessed us so much. Even the road trip was blessed. Hannah gave me a CD with a mixture of music on it and it was so good. The songs either made me laugh or spoke to my heart in ways I'm not sure if she even knew they would.

Work has been strange but good. Strange in that going to school makes it seem like school hasn't ended and I know that if I ever become a teacher I NEVER want to teach summer school. It's not bad... infact I love the Calculus 1 guys.. they're so much fun and they'll be fun to take Calc 2 with if they take Val's section in the fall. Work is a bit more stressfull than it use to be though. Sharon's (my boss) is giving me more responsiblity and tomorrow I'm participating in this student panel discussion whatever because Colleen (co-worker) recommended me and Sharon's boss (dean of arts and sciences) wants me too. Then whoever these unknown people asking me questions are, they will be touring the Academic Learning Center so I'll have to play wonderful hostess for them if Sharon has to direct another tour. And some idiot (accually I think it was the Dean of Allied Services) had to give a pre-tour to some lady. I just hate being caught off guard but at least I was busy tutoring so Cathrine talked to them. She's an adult. I know I may look like one, get paid like one, and legally be one but that doesn't mean I feel like one and feel capable of being one. And I'm suppose to print weekly computer reports every week in addition to my new role as peer tutor timesheet keeper. I forgot to do english lab's report today and didn't have time before I left to do it... so hopefully Sharon won't notice or won't have a cow before I find a chance to figure out how to do that tomorrow. I have to remind myself that I'm getting paid $13 an hour for the extra stress. I guess it's not stress... I just feel like a little kid sometimes and the responsibility sometimes seems a bit overwhelming. *sigh* such is life. :)

Daddy, please cradle me and hold me . Fill me with your love so I can love others the way you love others. Lead me and guide me and give me strength. Thank you for all you've done already. I love you so much. I love you.