Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso.

(Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.)

Rather than find my own words I believe I shall quote what another has said in her blog. ( Disclaimer: I'd give a link but I wasn't personally given the individual's addy... I just happened across it... so just know the following block quote isn't my original words... though I identify entirely with them today.)

Being a senior in college is hard. I honestly feel like I don't
belong anywhere . . . last night I went to the welcome back dance and felt
really awkward. (Of course, that could describe pretty much every dance
I've been to, including the ones where I took dates, but whatever.)
Student teaching really contributes to this feeling of isolation, too,
because in a sense I'm working in the fully-adult circle as well as studying in
college. I don't feel carefree and fun-loving enough to be a college
student, nor do I want to feel studious and serious enough to be, well, grown
up. It's weird, and it's creating some even weirder mood shifts. Was
the end of high school this emotional? I can't remember, but all I know is
I really need to belong somewhere.

Granted, I'm not a senior... I'm just there. Which in a way makes it even worse, everyone is younger. In fact the majority of the kids I hang with are still in highschool. There are exceptions of course. *sigh* I do love them all dearly. I just feel stuck at another really weird place. I'm living at home... which I really don't mind.... but I'm certainly old enough to be on my own. I can drink alcohol legally (which I don't do very often). I'm old enough to get married, but there isn't a single elegible guy my age, which in all honesty I really shouldn't be complaining. Am I not the one who has preached so oft' "Wait for God! Don't date until God says "okay"! He has someone awesome out there for you! Wait for His timing!"? And I don't doubt that. He does have someone out there for me. But I'm one of the few I know who has any business dating. And I shouldn't be thinking any of this anyway. My focus should be on God and His love for me and sharing His love for others with those others. But then there are 17 year old boys who flirt... and the terrifying thing is I'll throw it back at 'em and then go "Dang! No! He's 17. Ignore the flirting... flirting back is bad! :-S!" And then there are 14 year old campers I haven't seen in a year who call my home # to talk to me... a boy that is, who identified me to his dad as "the Greek goddess".... who I have no idea what to do with. It could be an innocent phone call, but he's asked me to dinner with his family before. Our families don't know each other and doesn't that just strike you as weird??? *sigh* I wish - What do I wish? That life were simpler? *weak smile* I don't think that's possible. It'd be nice though wouldn't it? Well, I'll stop whining here and go read Hannah-Deeah's latest post.... and see if Becca's posted anything. Someday thoughts will be as clear as they should, and chocolate the perfect thickness for the moment ;).

Life's Unquiet Dream

"Thy light alone- like mist o'er mountains driven, Or music by the night
wind sent. . . Gives grace and truth to life's unquiet dream." ~
Shelley

Hannah has this quote in the beginning of her blog like I have Isa. 62:4. How much truth there is to that... I don't know if Shelley was speaking of a person or not but to the believer Thy light alone is what gives us the grace and truth to live in our unquiet dream. How unquiet that dream can be. It dwells in all of us...lol... how funny to say that. It can't dwell in us. We are living in it. That's why it touches all of our lives.

Buckwheat pancakes taste weird.

Cinderella Man is an intense movie. It was very good, but I'm not sure I want to see it again for awhile. I'm definitely not one for boxing.

How easily the world twists love and acceptance the way God ment it to be. I understand how a friend of mine could have preffered the experience he had with some people in a bar in comparison with some of the experiences he's had in church. But does he not realize why there's the difference? The people in the bar were just being themselves. Christains are so rarely focused and saturated in God enough that being themselves truly reflects Jesus. That's sounds hollow or dogmatic or something now that I've said it. And who knows... I'm probably the worst at being judgemental. I really need to work on that - not judging others. *biting lip*... but there is calling friends to accountablity. *sigh*...

God give me the strength and love to be a reflection of You today and everyday.

Chocolat

I just finished watching that movie. I loved it. Aye, one fast forward part but otherwise quite lovely. I particularly love the music. It's so fitting to the theme and it really makes me want to get up and dance. I wonder if Kathryn has heard of it - the movie or the music. I'm fairly certain she'd at least love the music. It's good dancing stuff. hmmm.... chocolate. *happy content smile* ;)

Welp, dear sir continues to be angry at me though now silent. It's the silence I don't like. I can handle being "yelled" at just fine. Unlike my dear Becca, I am fire and rain, but ice I cannot bear. *confused but thoughtful expression* "Some say the world will end in fire,/ Some say in ice..". "I've seen fire and I've seen rain/I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end/I've seen lonely time when I could not find a friend/But I always thought that I'd see your face again."

I've had a fairly nice week. Mom and I went shopping on Monday. We found wonderous sales at Bath & Body Works *sheepishly happy smile* and the furniture store. She found a lovely mirror in the mission oak style and we found a much needed bookcase for my room.
Hurrah!Hurrah! Hurrah for room for books to live happily! Hurrah! :D :D :D
How dear books are. I bought Tuck Everlasting on Monday and just finished reading it for the first time today. What an enchanting read. I've completely fallen in love with it, and though I haven't seen the movie I'm still glad I got the copy with the 1975 cover. It's just the way the pond ought to be. It's such a God thing, I think, to have read it when I have. I had no idea when I picked it up that it was set in the first 2 weeks of August. How much more perfect could it get? I only picked it up because Dominique had said it was a great movie and the book was considered a children's book. I suppose it is a children's book but it was so beautiful. :) What a happy thing the two aren't mutually exclusive, eh? :)

I guess that's all I have to post about. I'd really like to hit the sack. I thank God for days of satisfaction in Him, and that satisfied days are as equally inevitable as those that aren't.

Ordinary and Interesting Days

I don't even know if I want to go into everything that's happened the past week. I guess if I took the time to post nightly I wouldn't have to now would I? *wry smile*

I emailed a certain someone about a week or two ago and then I sent another one this Saturday. As I guessed, he didn't like either and finally emailed me back on Sunday. I mean "finally" in that all I ever get from him are "hey haven't seen you online how are you i'm great" sort of emails and this time I finally got an email of some substance. Yeah he was mad but I now know he actually thinks. %) This is good. I spent all day on a reply. Yeah I know; I'm nuts. But it took me awhile to get over being livid with him, and once I did that I had to write a reply and after that I prayed over it for about an hour. Sheesh. I know I want to marry a guy (not this one particularly) but sometimes I wonder about my sanity. If I didn't want kids so much I think I might just become a nun and get the "Studs & Stallions" calendar and just have to repent for it *silly but tired smile*. Somewhere over the rainbow... there's my dude. **very sheepishly goofy grin**

I "found" two "lost" friends this week. Friday I found Sergio (we had religion together and he's an awesome apologist). Mom and I were at the Christian book store and we saw his CD's for sale there and while we were making over them the lady behind the counter told us he works there in the afternoons. I haven't stopped by to see him yet but I'm just pleased to know he's doing okay and is able to sell his music. :) And then Sunday at church I talked to Daniel Baiera for the first time since we were 13 or 14 years old. I've seen him and his parents at church but I hadn't talked to him yet so yesterday was the day. We exchanged email addresses and he's invited me to go to the Bible study at Crossroads. He's into horitculture of all things. I mean I think it's great... it's really important to aggie(agricultural) people like me but he just never struck me as being that type when we were kids.

I got to see a dressage show over the weekend that had International qualifiers! I was pretty excited. A lady I had shown against 5 years ago was in that category. Go Sandy Gaines!!! I'm not sure how she did but she looked great to me. I should have some pictures of that up shortly at my photo blog (megapix.myphotoalbum.com).

I worked with Laurel and Brian at the Asheville Lyric Opera booth at Bele Chere the last weekend in July. That was a blast. We got to see Nicole C. Mullen in concert and Denver and the Mile High Orchestra (Laurel knows one of the trumpet players). I like volunteering for the Opera. :)

Aight... I'm just brain frazzled so I'll say good night. :) Here's to bright, bright, bright sunshiney days! :):)