Kiss An Angel Good Mornin'

You've got to kiss an angel good morning
And let her know you think about her when you're gone
Kiss an angel good morning
And love her like the devil when you get back home

How is it I seem happiest when I'm being a little "naughty"? (Graham would call the last line of that chorus naughty in our present state.) I'm in a very good mood right now. Why? I'm not sure. I still have a thousand little things that bug me sometimes, or not bug but worry. And here I sit analyzing my own happiness. BAH!! I'm happy and shall be. Becca likes "my man". He "loves and adores" me. And anyway...."Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira is way more naughty. Sure it's about dancing but it's quite sensual. Gosh.. I'm acutally posting this.. my mother would be horrified. And now I have "Hips Don't Lie" in my head. I love the tune of the song and it really does make me want to dance but... bah whatever... I'm choosing to stay in a state of ignorant bliss today. Much love, my peoples!

"Whap! Thump! KerWack!"

That, my dears, is what life feels like it's doing to my head.....all of me actually.. but knowing what a worry wart I can be, it's quite easy to conclude why my head seems to be getting the beating. Is life really that bad? No, just more stressful than I prefer and I'm seriously thinking about being 5 years old again. I know, I know... then I wouldn't know any of you. And I love you all dearly. But ignorant bliss is enticing. The silliest thing that I've rather beat myself for because it was really letting Satan get to me... Graham went to a concert w/guyfriends last night. He called me several times from the concert but never left a message (and I missed the calls). And when he didn't call 'til noon-ish today I was worried that perhaps something happened. How stupid is that? He really had no reason to call me at all. There's no requirement that he should have and no reason for him to think that I would be concerned... will someone make my brain stop working like this????!!!! ARG! That I can live with though and just think "Bah, I was being silly." and determine not to think that way again. In other frustrations...I'm now responsible for paying for my own gas. No biggie.. and a reasonable request from my parents... however I live in the middle of nowhere and have already spent a bit over $900 of my parent's money on gas this year. I've been fore-warned it's rediculous to spend that much on gas particularly on my income and I don't blame my 'rents for not wanting to keep it up, but the lectures on "curtailing" one's social life are annoying. Thankfully I have a lovely boyfriend who will come and pick me up if I ask. But someday it will come to "He shouldn't be wasting so much money on gas. He needs to save." So we'll talk on the phone. "You spend entirely too much time on the phone." Well at least I'm already paying for my part of the cell phone bill and Verizon to Verizon is free!!!! Again, I'm likely over thinking and stressing. *sigh*... Having a social life to the extent that I do isn't wrong. I can't help that I live as far away as I do. I'd love to move closer to Asheville but I don't have the financial means yet.. that's why I got talked into going back to school. There really shouldn't be such a thing as too much time with my boyfriend so long as I'm not neglecting personal time with God and not letting my other relationships deteriorate completely. We're looking at spending the rest of our lives together.. we find some amount of time "too much" right now then perhaps we should seriously question marraige. We haven't reached that point. *sigh* But am I letting my relationship with my parents deteriorate or is it just a natural growing away? Mom thinks she's done a great job letting me go.. which so far she has but I can see her not happy if I moved out if I didn't see her everyday. I dunno....ARG! It just feels like a lot of different transition/changing seasons of my life are happening at once... particularly my relationships and finances. I know that I know I don't know everything. I have a lot of growing to do. But everything seems like it's in a thick spider's web that I keep struggling against and I just keep tearing things little bit by little bit that I don't want to. I do need full days at home to think and spend time with God. I do know that much. And I need to stay concious of taking on as much extra responsiblities around the house as I can. And doing stuff with mom. I feel stretched. Spending time with Court, Graham, and Mom... and I'd love to spend more time with Dad. Mom seems to be of the opinion if you feel stretched, drop something. But that option makes me want to sit down and cry. I love my parents and my friends. *sigh* This is just a tough growing spot I guess. It will be okay. :o). At least the talks mom and I have had so far have gone well. She's trying to work with me and I'm doing my best to show I'm will to work with her. I know that these relationships are a God thing so this is just Satan coming against me and my family and the Good that God has planned for me.

"Judith"

O her eyes are amber fine -
Dark and deep as wells of wine,
While her smile is like the noon
Splendor of a day of June.
If she sorrow - lo! her face
It is like a flowery space
In bright meadows, overlaid
With light clouds and lulled with shade.
If she laugh - it is the trill
Of the wayward whippoorwill
Over up land pastures, heard
Echoed by the mocking bird
In dim thickets dense with bloom
and blurred cloyings of perfume.
If she sigh - a zephyr swells
Over odorous asphodels
And wan lilies in lush plots
Of moon-drown'd forget-me-nots.
Then, the soft touch of her hand -
Takes all breath to understand
What to liken it thereto! -
Never rose-leaf rinsed with dew
Might slip soother-suave than slips
Her slow palm, the while her lips
Swoon through mine, with kiss on kiss
Sweet as heated honey is.
~by James Whitcombe Riley

the names not quite right for me but *shrug*... a girl's gotta dream right? :)... g'night

Okay...so I've had enough with blogthings...

I'm super tired and I'd love to go to bed. I also feel like talking in short choppy sentences. The first day of VBS (yesterday) went really well and so did today I think. I'm freezing cold (this building is kept rediculously (sp?) cold). I have one hour left in here. Mom's sick for the 4th day in a row with a fever over 100F. She doesn't want me to go to growth group tonight. I called dad and told him her fever's back up and he said to call him after I get off work to see if I really need to come home. I hope mom's not too upset with me if he says I don't need to come home. I'm really really bored and I don't like the questions floating around in my head. Or rather... I don't like the uncertainty or worry in my head/heart. I just don't want to make a wrong decision, ya know? I hope Graham and I really are become good friends as friends and not just because we enjoy each other's attention. I don't like the feeling of having neglected my girlfriends. But Court's been busy. Kat's been out of town. Hannah-Deeah is in Ireland. I see Brooke twice a week, and I don't have messenger at work to talk to Becca. ARRGGG!!!!! only 5 minutes after 5!!!!!!!! I have 55 minutes to go!!!!....Day-o ho daaaaay oh!/ A-daylight comin' an' I wanna go home!... I'm at work btw... if you hadn't guessed and haven't stopped reading after boredem.. .and someone needs help.. gotta go

And yet my third blogthing posted here

I like all but the last line of this one... can u tell I'm bored at work?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Another Blogthings Quiz

I found this quiz intersting :).

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

Dang... I'm just not good a keeping my blog updated...

Am I?...:)... well, would saying that Graham and I are officially dating as of June 11 make up for it at all? Maybe? Just a little bit? :) And we've had our first "arguement". Not really an arguement though, I've been stressed out the past couple of days about making our accountability list and mom getting up set about Graham teasing me about kissing and then yesterday Graham was just aggrivating me for the heck of it and it was bad enough that I was still very irritated this morning and didn't really want him to come over tomorrow like planned. So I called him and we talked about it and he apologized profusely. And we're good again. It sounds somewhat silly now but he was seriously getting on my nerves. I haven't been that irritated in a very very long time. But anyway, it's better and I want to get over it and not think about it anymore if I can help it.

Hannah! Sheesh! I'm sorry! I have a draft email started to you and I haven't had time to finish it!! I still love you bunches girly!!! And Rebecca dear, I love you too! Sorry I haven't had time to talk. I hope the summer job situation is working out for ya. My I've negelcted my computer peeps. I'm sorry ya'll.

Today was a strange day kinda. My first day with the house to myself and no dog. She'd always follow me around and when I'm by myself she's great to talk to. *sigh* ah well...

We're reading Atonement by Derek Prince at my grouth group at church. It's incredible. I need to send out a mass email about what chapters we didn't cover last group though. ai ai ai....I'm also re-reading Passion & Purity. I absolutely love that book still. Elisabeth Elliot is such an amazing, awesome lady. I don't say that lightly either. Passion & Purity is a must read for anyone. It's so good.

I went to Living Waters last weekend for a ministry training retreat. It was quite needful and good. I'm glad I went for preparation for VBS at Gateway. *sigh* VBS @ Gateway.... I feel so behind, other than spiritually. Working part time isn't helpful with VBS... even if it is just Math Lab. Ah well.

Ah me ah me... I really need to get to bed. I've got presents I need to wrap for Father's Day, which will get added to the things that need to be done tomorrow before Graham comes over.

OH! one last thing!!! There's another summer dance planned at All Saints in Biltmore Village!!! I'm really really excited about going. Once I know whether or not Kathryn and Brooke are going I'll decide if I am... at least I hope I am. I definitely hope Graham wants to go and there's a part of me that wants to go without him if he doesn't want to go. I'm not sure if I will though. I guess it depends on if it's okay with him if I go w/o out him because I will dance with other guys. I dunno... theres also a part of me that totally rebels at that idea of it having to be okay with him. But I guess that's not me being a very good girlfriend? I dunno.. we'll see how this goes. I really really really want to go though. Okay.. I'm going to bed now... I love ya'll!!!!