Chick-flicks, Fall, Growth, and Dancing

So much, so much floating and dancing in my brain... not unlike those eternal sugar plums except my thoughts are more like pieces of light that have taken form.. they're lighter and sweeter than sugar plums could ever be... 'course I've never actually seen a sugar plum or eaten one for that matter. That would pose a problem wouldn't it? *wry smile* Is a sugar plum a sugar cured plum.. thus.. a sugar encrusted prune? That really takes the airy poetic-ness out of my mental image..lol... I should stick with my other thoughts but it's quite obvious I'm in a rambling mood. :-)

I watched 13 Going on 30 with my Tilley woman! I'm picky about chick-flicks. No just any will do. This one was amazing for me. And you want to know the truly "special" part? Watching that movie restored my deep desire to marry my best friend. It restored my hope too. Just in that... I lost some essence of myself, my innocence the past year or two and silly as it sounds I felt restored hope after watching that movie. I'm feeling braver to be.. at little more narrow minded. I always figured it was beyond asking God to let my husband love horses. I always figured the most I could hope for is someone who would tolerate horses and let me own them. But I'm gonna be brave. I'm gonna wait for a guy who likes horses and living in the country and who likes dancing or is at least willing to learn. You have no idea how narrow minded I feel at the moment. It's half scary, half deliciously happy..lol.. I'm a strange girl, no?...lol...

Until the leaves are off the trees, you're going have to tolerate my infatuation with the season. If I could somehow fashion my soul after fall and it's splendor, I would do so. What I would give to be perpetually arrayed in reds, oranges, and yellows... those rich vibrant earthy tones the land wears every autumn. To live as a fresh, cool breeze in light of the warming Son. If I could be the embodiment of autumn and bring to others the this, mad, joyful expecting I feel in my inmost....I should be a very happy woman indeed. Can't you just feel the whole earth shouting with all consuming joy to its Creator?! Fall was made for me. You can enjoy it too ;-).. and if I didn't exsist, God would have still made it for you to enjoy. But this is when I bask most in God's glory and wish it to take over and wholly own me.

You want to know something amazing? I've been happy. No, not just "happy". Like... Fridays at work are my comp lab days. They are typically very quiet and I love it. Print for a few people. Smile. Show them how to save a document or maybe do a few things in Word. I get to play on the computer, journal, read The Word, and just get sometime to myself for about 4 hours. That's a normal Friday. THIS Friday was not normal. I pulled into my parking spot 10minutes late to open the lab (my fault.. I accept that ;-)..) and hit the ground running to get the computers going. I printed like a mad woman for the first few minutes and then things settled down after my first hour. Within the next half hour, I had settled in enough to call my boss and ask about timesheets and she, hearing how quiet my lovely lab was, decided to send me a chem student that the over flowing math lab wasn't able to help. As far as getting anything I'd wanted to done online... I could kiss it goodbye. I was either working on chemistry or printing the rest of my day. In fact, I ended up working a half hour past closing because I couldn't work on chem and get people to leave. So I did finally make it up to math lab to work on my time sheet but I ended up being about 2 hours late leaving work. And I still had grocery shopping to do for mom. Which I did. Oh, and I don't get a lunch break..so.. I'd made it to the grocery store at 4:30pm-ish on nothing but breakfast. And you want to know what? I was still in a decent mood. I was still laughing my head off joking with my co-workers. What normally would have made me rather grumpy (I really enjoy time to myself infront of hi-speed internet and pandora radio in the background), only annoyed me momentarily. I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging. I'm shocked and (sheepish isn't the right word) shyly pleased with myself. But it couldn't have been me. I've gotten grumpy before for just having to tutor people who really aren't that bad... just happen to annoy me in little ways. It's a God thing. And I hope it stays around. :-) :-)

All of Your promises won'l let go of me
I surrendered my life to Your ways
I have learned what it means to obey
Jesus, my heart has been changed by You
I am walking the path you have made
I am seeking the truth everyday
Jesus, my heart has been changed by You
I couldn't walk away if I tried
Cause Your love is better than life
Now the sun's shining bright and it just won't set
Cause Your love is alive and it lights my step
My heart is amazed everyday to the next
Your joy overtakes and I can't forget about it
Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
I can't forget about it

~ Promises - Desperation