Through Fire

I've been gone a long time haven't I? I guess it's because I don't like to post my "dark nights of the soul" here. Nor do I want this post to be one of those, so we shall see how I do my catching up. Graham and I are no longer in a relationship. There is no malice or hatred in it, and for that I am very grateful. We each have growing to do and things to accomplish before either of us is ready for marraige. Whether we enter a marraige seeking relationship again is in God's hands. I have to lay my hopes aside and trust God's love in that.

I've gone to Oregon since I've been gone. I visited Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch (which was incredible) with a lady who I just barely even met at Living Waters. The lady (Miriam) was sooooo cool! She has a vision of starting a non-profit like Crystal Peaks in our area. Talk about a divine connection. Wow... that just blew me away. And God's provision to go! Mir called me the day before our flight left and asked me if I wanted to go. Her brother had backed out. I got his plane tickets for the same price (and we weren't able to transfer them) and they had room for me at Crystal Peaks (their clinic was booked). It was definitely God ordained. :-)

I was also a counselor for Senior 2 (high school age) camp at Living Waters this summer. It was amazing as it always is. But it was especially cool for me because...well... I don't know how many years I've seen kids drunk in the Spirit or with the Spirit of laughter on them and I guess I just gave up on that ever being me. I've just always been a "Holy Ghost Bouncer" as Rick calls us. I got drunk laughing 2 nights in a row. I feel sheepish admitting it but man it was fun. Actually the first time laughter hit me was in the lunch line. Someone had to get my tray together for me. I was just laying on the floor of the kitchen laughing. *sheepish goofy smile* But man it was good...*soft chuckle* rather, man it was God. :-) I think I also came away from Living Waters with a better understanding of walking in the Spirit (like Paul talks about in Corinthians) vs. walking in the flesh. Autumn (long time friend and fellow counselor) made what I thought was a rather neat statement. She was talking about her boyfriend/fiance-when-he-gets-the-money-for-a-ring and she said what irritates her the most about him is when he gets off in the flesh. And I realized how true that is about all of us. I mean, we shouldn't walk around all detached from life, but there's this state of seeing life more consistently through God's eyes and not our own. And that's where we need to be. I've certainly failed on more than one occassion since I've been home, but I know where I'm headed? I mean, I know this is the kind of lifestyle God wants His people to lead. Walk in Love. And my love isn't enough for me to love anyone or anything. I have to be full of His love.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect through weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weasknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, fore Chirs's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~2 Corinthians 12:9-10

arg... I'd share more but I need to get moving with my day... I want to share so much more!! *sigh*... ah well. 'Til I have time again.