Cages

I had to take my cat to the vet today to get him some dewormer and I found an interesting analogy to myself. He hates cages, in fact he was yowling his distaste for being in one before I even got him and the cat carrier in the truck. On the way there he was clawing so furiously at the metal grate/door that he pulled one of his claws out. When he finally gave up clawing (after we left the vet's office), he would alternate between worried panting (I kept it cool for him in the truck) or more yowls. Finally, ten minutes from home, he resigned himself to being cage bound and he started to doze off. How often I behave like him. Right now being at home and starting a horsey business with my parents feels like being stuck in a cage. I battle and fight within myself but get torn up for nothing. I know that this is moving in the direction God had called me to go, but it just....feels like more bondage than freedom. But if this is the direction God's leading me then "resistance is futile". If I'll just calm down and accept that God isn't going to leave me where I am, I'll be alot less tired and torn up in the end. It's just hard when you feel like you're shut up in a cage. So... I'm like my cat. :-)..... I just have to keep my eyes lookin' up. I have to say focused on God and know that this isn't an end. It's a beginning and He never leaves anyone and anything incomplete.

"What do you fear, lady?" he [Aragorn] asked.

"A cage," she [Eowyn] said. "To stay behind bars, until use and old age
accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or
desire."

~ Return of the King, J.R.R. Tolkien

I feel much like Eowyn, but there is no fear in love. And God is love. So I must choose love. I must choose to trust Him and not be afraid because He has not ordained me to be caged and I may yet find some freedom here, or here find my redemption from the cage.