..or just wonderful to be alive and quite coherent. I've been sick since...the 23rd? and have had random moments of being able to pull myself together and being "normal" but today is that first day after being sick that there are still some lingering symptoms but you feel so good to not be totally misrable that you think you could climb a mountian in half the normal time. Or something like that. I'm still weak.. but my head is far clearer and my appetite is returning :D. Enough on my health...
I finally went and read what I told Graham he ought to read in the Mark Twain book I let him borrow. I don't know why I liked The Facts Concerning the Recent Carnival of Crime in Connecticut. I guess when I first read it I loved the idea of killing my conscience.. but I was 14 or 15 then.. at the most. It's alright but rather bloody and gory and not as funny as I anticipated. I intend to apologize to him when he gets home. He did, however, love On the Decay of the Art of Lying which was my other suggestion and it was really good. So is Twain's Speech on the Babies. I'll have to get him to read that. :) Okie.. enough on my beloved Twain. ;)
It has been a good Christmas, no? Even being sick hasn't diminished it I don't think. And it definitely wasn't in material things that this Christmas was better than any others. Yet I don't know how to say that my heart found it more joyful than any of the rest. But it has been. I'm glad to have gone to church on Christmas day. It was so lovely. Not so much in what Pastor Jay had to say but in just fellowshipping with those friends whom I hold dear and worshiping together. Worshiping together with ancient hymns and new ones is just so sweet, ya know? That sweetness is actually reminding me of some words to a hymn, "..For the love which from our birth/Over and around us lies/Lord of all to Thee we raise/This our hymn of grateful praise.." Worshiping together, seems to me, like taking the love and warmth that is between us as families , friends and a congregation and lifting it up to our heavenly Father in adoration of Him. I don't always feel like that. Sometimes Sundays I feel as though it's my personal sacrifice and it's just something between me and God. And that is good. But it was so sweet on Christmas day to join together with others who care for me and I care for them and worship God together. :)....my language fails me to describe the feeling. But that's why I'm so glad to have gone to church on Christmas Day. I think the only thing better would have been if Mom and Dad could have come but that day will come soon. I understand their fears and reluctance to return to some gathering of the Body, but in good time it will come. :) I will not hound them. The Spirit will work quietly and gently in their hearts and when the time is right they will come. How amazingly blessed I am that my parents are as devout Christians as they are! I mean most people who say these things are hoping and praying for their parents' salvation too, but my situation is so different. My parents are the ones who've encouraged me in the Word and challenged me too. They've just been hurt so much... I don't blame them for their slowness in going back. "A thing of beauty is a joy forever..."(Mary Poppins) but that thing of beauty rarely happens over night. Sometimes time is our tormentor... and somes our sweet nurturer. It is when time seems full and is about to brim over with something good that she seems to us a sweet nurturer. And that's how I feel right now. I'm almost content, but I suppose I should be entirely content in any situation. *wry smile* may I write that off as me still growing?...*soft laugh*. I am learning. And I am growing. I am content.
I wish I had more peace about taking Josiah to the Opera Ball. I don't dislike him. We just don't click. We get along, agree on all the important things, but ... *sigh* I suppose I'm prolly taking things a little too seriously? (It's just friends going to a formal together.) I guess I'm slightly afraid he'll take things too seriously.. but he's said he doesn't want to date right now. And obviously he must realize we don't truly click. Why should I worry if we'll have a good time or not? A few of the girls from church will be there. Court Mc will have an opportunity to teach him how to swing dance. I guess there's this nasty twinge of fear that somehow I've bumbled things.
"You've been listening to fears, my child." (Aslan) :)
It's amazing how good it is to feel well after you've been sick. I feel like I could dance from here to... to... I don't know.... "I could dance a thousand miles/Because of Your great love..."
I'd prolly ought to get going... spend some time yakin' with God before I come back around (hopefully) tonight. :) Later my dears...*imagine music as I dance away :)*
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