"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on the cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl
So just cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe
Whoa breathe, just breathe"
~ "Breathe (2am) Anna Nalick [a song they play too much on the radio]
I don't know why I like this song... it's so sad but somehow I like it. And I feel absolutely exhaused. I wanted to go to bed 3 hours ago but I'm still up baking for the boys' Christmas presents and the party. (Yes, I'm baking for the boys for Christmas this year. I've no idea how to get the stuff to the "chosen" ones w/o the other "non-chosen" ones finding out but I'm too tired to contemplate that furthur.) Wow...this week has been as busy as the week before finals. I've had dance practice every other day with shopping in between. Dress rehearsal is tomorrow and then Sunday I have to be at church at 7:30am for the first performance. Brian F*rr** use to chew his toe nails when he was ten. (He was super flexy b/c of Tae Kwon Do but don't tell him I posted his confession here.. or that you know about it. He only confessed b/c he found out when I was a baby I use to suck on my big toe %).) He and Court MacCrack** both get super nervous before preformances and sometimes practices. I get nervous; I just try to joke and not think about it 'til I'm standing out there waiting for the music. Then I hope I remember everything. I know horses have their own difficulties but somehow I prefer horse shows. I mean I love dancing in church.. don't get me wrong, but horse shows are just better somehow. We've practiced incessantly... Nick and I have time to trot around and chill. And by the second class we're good. Especially if there aren't too many other horses in the ring. Sit up. Heels down/Toes up. Legs back. What diagonal are you on? Push 'im forward and soft on the bit.. nice frame. Sit tall and smile.. feel him soften into your hands and relax and stretch his stride. Up - down - up - down. And sit a little deep and quietly ease him to a walk. Your hands should be as if you're holding birds (soft but firm) and holding them so they can talk to each other(slight angle but not "piano hands"). Ask him to trot and feel him briskly hop-to and then lengthen out his stride again - just skimming across the ground.... yeah, that's all about horses. Definitely not dance, well... it is about dance, but not in terms of skirts and working with other people and counting music the same and such... it's about two beings coming together and working as one. Thinking, even if only for a little while, as one. And becoming a beautiful fluid motion together. I suppose that's what any kind of dance is. It's just sometimes it's more than two people (dance team) and it's harder to accomplish that oneness. It is glorious when it happens. I guess I just love being on horseback. I never want to forget that one time I jumped a perfect course. There's no other feeling so lovely as that on earth. At least not that I've experienced yet. :) If I could ride a perfect course tomorrow... I'd take a 3.0 GPA. I think I really would. Oh that it weren't so hard to get back to!!!! Why do I feel so twarted to getting back to riding?!?! It's so deeply frustrating. I miss my first love more than I should ever care to admit. But I need to get to bed...
I didn't really mean the post to be a rant or anything. It's rather a contrast from the post I left at "Sparkling Jewels". Ah well, such is my roller coaster ride. I just hope that I may dream sweetly of horses, and sugar plums and successful Christmas programs and parties... and peace tonight. The same to you all! I love ya!
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